Tips for parenting following a divorce
It’s the first Father’s Day following your divorce, and all sorts of parenting issues are coming up.
According to Allison Pescosolido, M.A. and Andra Brosh, Ph.D, experts in divorce recovery, and founders of Divorce Detox, ”All divorce firsts are a little nerve racking.”
While newly single moms may struggle with feeling alone for the first time on Father’s Day, Dads have their challenges too. Explains Brosh, “Newly divorced dads get concerned about doing the ‘right thing’ for Father’s Day, mostly because their ex-wives used to plan the celebrations.”
And then there are the issues in your marriage that led to your divorce in the first place. Those feelings don’t always evaporate after the divorce papers are signed.
But you and your ex still have something very important in common– your kids. Notes Pescosolido, ”When divorcing couples are asked what they consider to be their greatest gift from their marriage, they almost unanimously say it’s their children.”
Related: Best Gifts for Kids After a Divorce
Pescosolido and Brosh are sharing their tips on how to be a good parent after divorce… for Father’s Day and beyond.
Parenting After Divorce
1. Remember that you are a role model for your children at all times. They are looking to you and learning from your words, actions and behaviors. Become aware of what you want them to take in and absorb as they grow. Whatever you teach them will influence how they treat and relate to outside of the home.
2. Process your feelings in an appropriate forum, not with your Ex. The more you can express your negative emotions and experiences with a professional, the more likely you are to interact with your Ex in a more productive way. It’s hard to remain in control if you suppress your feelings.
3. Do things for yourself that relieve stress. The build up of stress in the body can go unnoticed leading to chronic symptoms of fatigue, anxiety, depression, and irritability. Do things that you love, that calm and nurture your mind and body. Taking time to nourish yourself also models for your children an important aspect of maintaining optimal well-being.
4. Put yourself first. The oxygen mask theory is not just a theory, its very real. You cannot parent or nurture your children effectively if you are not taking care of yourself. Children benefit from seeing parents caring for themselves, they like to know that you are well and happy. It makes them feel safe.
More from GalTime:
- Why Do So Many Divorced Parents in Movies Get Back Together?
- Should Facebook Lower the Age of Admittance?
- Dads and Daughters: A Bond Like No Other
- Why Are Our Kids Hurting Themselves?
Allison Pescosolido, M.A. and Andra Brosh, Ph.D. are experts in Divorce Recovery and starting over. They co-founded Divorce Detox, a full service center to transform the lives of individuals transitioning through divorce. With advanced degrees in the field of Psychology, and as certified Grief Recovery Specialists® by The Grief Recovery Institute, Andra and Allison are proactively challenging and changing the stigma of divorce on a national level.
Photo Credit: Laura Grier
Source: www.business2community.com
No sexy outfits nuns told in 1,300-year-old 'rule' book - Daily Telegraph
Warning that both nuns and clergymen are dressing inappropriately, he adds: “It shames me to speak of the bold impudence of conceit and the fine insolence of stupidity which are found both among nuns who abide under the rule of a settlement, and among the men of the Church … With many-coloured vestments and with elegant adornments, the body is set off and the external form decked out limb by limb.”
As well as lifestyle advice, Aldhelm - an energetic evangelist and early supporter of women’s education - includes biographies of female saints famed for their virginity who he holds up as role models, including Scholastica, the patron saint of nuns and twin sister of St Benedict; Christina, tortured to death for her faith by her pagan father; and Dorothy, executed for her Christianity after turning down a marriage proposal.
Written in Latin in the seventh century, the book is the first known text from England to be aimed at a female readership. At the time, Barking was a country village outside London and its abbey, founded in 666AD, was home to generations of nuns for more than 800 years.
Whilst Aldhelm had no ecclesiastical authority over the abbey, his advice would have been heeded because he was a noted scholar of his day, of royal blood, who founded two monasteries and served as an abbot and a bishop.
The four pages up for auction at Sotheby’s next month are inscribed on vellum - high quality parchment made from sheep skin or calf hide – from a copy of the book produced in around 800AD, and believed to have been owned at one stage by St Dunstan, a tenth-century Archbishop of Canterbury. They are expected to fetch £500,000.
Timothy Bolton, a specialist in western medieval manuscripts at Sotheby’s, said: “Aldhelm’s work is remarkable because there simply aren’t any texts by English authors addressed to women before this.
"He expects the nuns to study and understand his sophisticated writings, raising the bar of education for women to the same level of men, becoming the first English feminist author.”
The extract forms part of an auction of 60 rare manuscripts, spanning more than five millennia, that are expected to fetch more than £2 million in total.
They include fragments of Homer’s The Iliad dating to the year of Christ’s birth which were used by the Egyptians to wrap around a mummy; a document belonging to the father of King Harold, the last Anglo Saxon king; and the earliest surviving text of one of the most important passages from the New Testament, St Paul’s Epistle to the Romans.
They will be sold by Martin Schoyen, a Norwegian collector and heir to a shipping and transport business.
Dr Christopher de Hamel, the fellow librarian of Corpus Christi College, Cambridge and an expert on ancient manuscripts, said: “This sale is exceptional in telling the story of Western script from classical antiquity to the Middle Ages. It contains the bare bone relics of the history of the English language.”
The sale includes The Godwine Charter, drawn up for Earl Godwine, the most powerful English lord in the decades before the Norman Conquest and the father of King Harold, who was defeated and killed at the Battle of Hastings in 1066.
Dated c. 1013 to 1020 and written on vellum in Anglo Saxon, the document details Earl Godwine’s sale of a swine pasture, believed to be in Kent, to one of his tenants, Leofwine the Red, for “forty pence and two pounds and an allowance of eight ambers of corn”.
Expected to fetch up to £250,000 at auction, it is one of the rarest surviving Anglo Saxon texts from before the Norman Conquest, after which Old English, replaced by Latin and French, ceased to be the language of officialdom.
The sale will also include the Wyman Fragment, the earliest surviving version of an excerpt from St Paul’s Epistle to the Romans, widely acknowledged as one of the most famous documents in the history of Christianity.
Dating from the late third century when Christianity was still an illegal cult in the Roman empire, the vellum fragment written in Greek comprises Romans 4:23-5:3 on one side, and on the other, Romans 5:8-13, including the crucial passage on the justification by faith which forms the core of the Epistle and of the theology of Christianity: “Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
For this passage of the Epistle, the Wyman Fragment is universally accepted as the earliest surviving version and is expected to fetch up to £200,000 at auction.
The fragment was reportedly found in the early 20th century by a group of Arabs at Fustât, in north-eastern Cairo, Egypt, near the site of the Roman fortress of Babylon.
Mr Schoyen acquired it in 1988 from the heirs of the American anthropologist, Dr Leland Wyman, who bought it from an antiquities dealer in Cairo in 1950.
Fragments from Homer’s The Iliad dating from c. 0 will also feature in the sale. Experts believe the papyrus fragments were once part of a scroll once used by the ancient Egyptians to wrap around a mummy, which survived in the sands of North Africa.
They were first acquired by the Austrian conservator, Dr Anton Fackelmann, in Cairo in 1969 as part of a mummy cartonage. Mr Schoyen acquired them from his heirs in 1998 and they are estimated to fetch £30,000 at auction.
Source: www.telegraph.co.uk
'World's largest wind farm' begins to take shape off the coast of Essex - Daily Mail
- When complete, the 1.7 billion project in the Thames Estuary will boast 217 turbines
- It will be able to generate enough electricity for 750,000 homes
- Set to be connected to the National Grid next spring
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When fully operational, it will be the world's largest offshore wind farm - and, as these pictures show, work on the project in the Thames Estuary is moving along at quite a pace.
The wind farm, which is being built in the shallow waters 12 miles off the coasts of Kent and Essex, which, when complete will feature 217 turbines that will be able to supply enough electricity to power a quarter of London's homes.
The 1.7 billion wind farm, known as the London Array, is owned by the utility companies E.ON, Dong Energy and Masdar and is expected to start sending energy to the National Grid next spring.
The first phase of the project will generate 630 megawatts of power - equivalent to a small gas or coal fired power station and enough to supply 470,000 homes.
Corridors of power: When complete, the London Array wind farm will be the largest in the world
Vast: The 1.7 billion London Array wind farm will feature 217 turbines when complete
The second phase will bring the total to 217 turbines, each towering 147 metres above the estuary, giving 1000 mw of power, enough for 750,000 homes.
Work on the project began in January.
It was originally given the go-ahead in May 2009.
At present, the world's largest offshore wind farm is the 102-turbine Walney project, located off the coast of Cumbria.
The Walney project is capable of providing sufficient electricity for about 320,000 homes.
Work in progress: Construction work takes place on one of the wind turbines in the Thames Estuary
Estuarine energy: The turbines, in the Thames Estuary, will eventually be able to generate enough electricity for 750,000 homes
Source: www.dailymail.co.uk
Ariz. Law Expected to Prompt Suits From Both Sides - ABC News
Police agencies that would enforce the most controversial part of Arizona's 2010 immigration law are expected to get squeezed by legal challenges from opposite sides if the U.S. Supreme Court upholds the law in the coming days.
Opponents of the Arizona law, known as SB1070, are likely to sue police departments on claims that officers racially profile people as they enforce the provision of the law that requires police to check the immigration status of people they stop for other reasons.
But legal challenges also are expected from the other side: from supporters who could claim that a police agency has broken the law if it restricts the enforcement of SB1070.
"There are people just waiting to challenge this law on both sides of the spectrum," said Tucson Police Chief Roberto Villasenor.
A little-known section of the law lets anyone sue an agency that has a policy that restricts the enforcement of immigration law. The provision was aimed at holding cities accountable for "sanctuary policies" that discourage or prohibit officers from inquiring about a person's immigration status. Agencies that are found by a court to have sanctuary policies face fines of $500 to $5,000 for each day such a violation remains in effect after the filing of the lawsuit.
The right to sue was among the parts of the law that were allowed to take effect in July 2010. But a federal judge has barred police from enforcing the law's more contentious sections, such as a requirement that officers check the immigration status of people they stop for other reasons.
The U.S. Supreme Court is expected to rule before the end of the month on Gov. Jan Brewer's appeal of the 2010 ruling. Legal experts expect that the court likely will uphold the requirement for immigration-status checks, siding with Arizona officials' legal argument that SB1070 is not trumped by federal immigration law.
Such a ruling will prompt groups that already have challenged the law to ask the courts to again prevent enforcement of the controversial sections based on other arguments, such as racial profiling.
While seven challenges to the law have been filed, no lawsuits have been brought to court so far that alleged that a police agency had a sanctuary policy.
The question about what types of immigration inquiries police can make came to a head in Arizona during 2007 when Phoenix police Officer Nick Erfle was killed by an illegal immigrant, who shot the officer as he tried to arrest the immigrant on a warrant.
After his release from prison and subsequent deportation, the immigrant sneaked into the country again and was arrested for misdemeanor assault in Scottsdale, but wasn't reported to federal immigration authorities. The immigrant was fatally shot a short time later by police as he pointed a gun at a carjacking victim's head.
Phoenix revamped its policy on officers inquiring about people's immigration status after a union representing 2,500 rank-and-file officers had complained that officers were tired of seeing crimes tied to illegal immigration.
Under the law's right-to-sue provision, officers are indemnified from having to pay attorney fees and other legal costs in such lawsuits unless they are found to have acted in bad faith.
Source: abcnews.go.com
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