Divorce for most families is a hard and very emotional time. The parents usually have differences that they are unable to resolve or hurt feelings towards one another regarding previous situations in their marriage. Children during this time feel like it is their fault or in some way want to change the status of the relationship of the two people in their lives that they hold dear.
While divorce is a hard process for the family, the couple should keep in mind that they are also parents. As a mother, the children should come first above any personal relationship with the father. The children are innocent and should be protected from experiencing adverse emotions, statements, and overall experiences.
A divorce finalizes the union between two people, however, does not deny the responsibility of being a good parent. When parents argue and say derogatory things about one another in front of the children this produces shame and low self-esteem in them, although most of the time children will suffer in silence.
We have seen far too many ugly divorces and nasty custody battles. We have seen it time and time again, parents fighting over their children, degrading each other in public to win the battle.
In Atlanta, Usher and his ex-wife Tameka Foster are currently in the spotlight with a tough custody battle. According to ex-wife Foster, Usher did not uphold his end of the bargain in their joint custody agreement. In addition to that, there appears to be a spiteful discourse between the two that has been showing up in the media recently.
Foster reported that Usher cut off her Saks Fifth Avenue credit card and denied custody for two weeks to their boys, that was previously arranged for her to receive. Usher reported that Foster spat and fought him in a rage of fury while returning their boys to her home with his girlfriend in the vehicle. According to Usher, Foster's actions took place in the presence of their children.
Being a responsible mother involves considering how something will effect the children. Remaining civil during a time of hardship shows discipline, intelligence, and honor. The children learn the most from watching the ways of the parents and how the parents handle their separation will directly influence their children's views on the male and female relationship and how they see themselves.
It can be very hard to let go of combative emotions. However, we can make the choice to rid ourselves of them, even if we need to ask for help. Counseling and peer groups are two ways to get assistance in dissolving these emotions to move forward in life. Odyssey Family Counseling Center offers family counseling services to the Atlanta area and is experienced in assisting families in surviving a divorce.
There are also meet-up groups for newly divorced and healed divorced individuals to offer guidance and support during such a rough phase in life. Opening your heart and mind will allow for the hurt emotions to heal, giving your children better parents. However, this process must start with you.
The children are our future and what they learn in their time of innocence will directly effect their actions as an adult. Caring mothers would not put their children at risk to be hurt by others. Yet, mothers must also consider themselves in this equation by their actions and words because the parent's dealings are what effect their children the most.
Source: www.examiner.com
Don’t sign those divorce papers without financial advice - Globe and Mail
As anyone who has been through a messy divorce can attest, with goodwill eroding faster than the lawyer bills are stacking up, you just want to get things over with. If that means giving up something you were feverishly holding on to, so be it.
But there are pitfalls to arbitrarily negotiating a deal to trade assets – a private pension for a family home, for example – or to abandon them, without recognizing the future financial implications of that decision, say lawyers, who are now recommending that clients seek advice from a financial planner before the mediation process.
“The law sets out what child support should be, how property and assets should be legally divided,” Ottawa family lawyer Adriana Doyle says. “But the majority of family cases have some component of financial and tax issues that can be complex, challenging and require advice outside of the legal profession. In these situations, the financial adviser is priceless.”
Keith Adams, 42, learned this lesson the hard way. He served his wife divorce papers in 2010. After negotiating privately over the properties and businesses they owned in Calgary, child support for their two teenage daughters and spousal support, the couple found themselves in mediation and arbitration.
“There was no light at the end of my tunnel, the lawyer bills were racking up,” Mr. Adams says. On the recommendation of a friend, he went to an independent financial adviser.
“She showed me a number of different options and explained how capital-gains taxes work on properties that are not the primary residence,” says Mr. Adams, who, as a stay-at-home dad for a number of years, was on the receiving end of spousal support. “She also went through various spousal support scenarios, and showed me the future values of RRSPs.”
Armed with information, Mr. Adams and his wife were able to come to a mutual agreement earlier this year.
“People have a lot more control over the final result when they negotiate the process themselves outside of court,” Ms. Doyle says. “The financial adviser can advise on how to roll over pensions to avoid tax repercussions and help couples understand how to plan for the future with their new income scenario.”
They can also help to level the playing field going into negotiations, says Blair Corkum, a chartered accountant and financial divorce specialist in Charlottetown.
“There is usually one person in the couple that has more education pertaining to finances and that’s the start of the imbalance,” says Mr. Corkum, who has been specializing in divorce financing since 1997. “And it’s a hugely emotional time for people, so they’re often negotiating property without being aware of how it will impact their financial future.”
That was true for Wendy Noble, when she was presented with divorce papers 14 years ago. A stay-at-home mother to four children for more than 20 years, Ms. Noble had been completely reliant on her husband’s income. Although she had always managed the household finances, she admits that she did not have a clue about the value of her husband’s work pension or share options.
“At that time in my life, I had no idea what a financial planner was,” she says. “My lawyer tried to help with the financial stuff, but all the while the bills were adding up. At some point, I just threw my hands up in the air.’ ”
In her mid-40s, Ms. Noble launched a professional career and started her own retirement savings.
“It wasn’t until a few years ago that I sat down with a financial planner,” she says. “Some of the advice confirmed what my gut had told me for years, but it also gave me an entirely new perspective on how to invest the money I had saved for my own retirement. I wish I’d known all this 14 years ago.”
Special to The Globe and Mail––––––
Where things get complicated
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Where things get complicated
Splitting assets during divorce can be relatively straightforward if the couple have no children. There are a few areas where things can get complicated in the absence of professional financial advice.
Splitting assets during divorce can be relatively straightforward if the couple have no children. There are a few areas where things can get complicated in the absence of professional financial advice.
Life insurance
Particularly for those who divorce later in life, policies that are not jointly owned can be cancelled or altered by one party. “The insurance company will only disclose policy information to the owner,” says Wendy Olson-Brodeur, a financial divorce specialist and divorce mediator in Calgary. “Part of the divorce agreement should ensure joint ownership of the policy. Otherwise, if the owner stops paying or removes the wife and children as beneficiaries, they may not know, and a person who’s older may find they are uninsurable.”
Private pensions and work options
While Canada Pension Plan benefits are split evenly under the law and are non-negotiable, private pensions and work options, such as shares, can be more complicated to value.
Real estate
Properties other than the principal residence are subject to capital gains when there is a sale.
Tax
In the case where one spouse pays a lump sum to the other as part of asset division, or where funds are being transferred from registered funds, a financial adviser can help to find appropriate tax shelters for the investments.
Budgeting
“People need to make sure their divorce settlement accounts for both present and future needs,” says Blair Corkum, a financial divorce specialist in Charlottetown.
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By the numbers
41 per cent: The number of marriages in Canada that end in divorce.
33 per cent: The proportion of divorce cases in family law courts.
21 per cent: The number of divorce cases that last more than two years. This figure has risen 6 per cent between 2006 and 2011.
Source: Statistics Canada
Source: www.theglobeandmail.com
Sussex Police introduces measures to curb crime during Euros - crawleyobserver.co.uk
INCREASED patrols and dispersal orders are among the measures Sussex Police will be introducing to curb crime during the European Football Championships.
As well as increased patrols and dispersal orders, which give police powers to ban groups of people from areas for 24 hours, Sussex Police has been working with local authorities and licensees to “deter trouble before it starts”.
This includes licensed premises selling drinks in plastic cups and bringing trouble makers to the attention of the police.
“Our main aim is to make this a safe and trouble-free tournament,” said Superintendent Grenville Wilson.
“Our approach will be friendly, fair but firm. The vast majority of supporters are law-abiding and peaceful, but there are a few who use events like the championships as an excuse to cause trouble. We don’t want it and we won’t put up with it.
“In addition to extra police patrols, we have a wide variety of legal powers which can and will be used if necessary.
“We also have powers to stop individuals drinking in public, and powers to require people to disperse from specific areas, if we think they are likely to cause or are causing trouble. Arrest can follow if they fail to comply. Think of the dispersal order as the yellow and red card scheme. A yellow card means you must leave the area. If you don’t you get the red card – arrest.”
Those who are planning to watch matches in pubs, clubs or other venues in Sussex, are being told to be drink aware and watch their purses, wallets and phones and plan ahead.
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Print this pageSource: www.crawleyobserver.co.uk
Divorce hotel offers weekend splits - Financial Post
Jim Halfens, a Netherlands entrepreneur, has developed a Divorce Hotel concept that allows couples to have divorce papers in hand after only a weekend at a hotel.
According to the New York Times, couples check in to designated five-star hotels on Friday and stay in separate rooms for the weekend. Mediators and independent lawyers attempt to help the couples settle their differences in a hotel suite used for the negotiations.
The Divorce Hotel is operational in the Netherlands, where 16 of 17 couples who have bought into the process at a cost of US$3500-$10,000 have checked out with all the documentation necessary to obtain court approval.
Halfens is currently negotiating with hotels in other countries including the UK, Italy, Germany and the US. He’s also interested in developing a reality show.
Gives new meaning to weekend getaway, doesn’t it?
Source: business.financialpost.com
NRA-Backed Law Spells Out When Indianans May Open Fire on Police - Bloomberg
Every time police Sergeant Joseph Hubbard stops a speeder or serves a search warrant, he says he worries suspects assume they can open fire -- without breaking the law.
Hubbard, a 17-year veteran of the police department in Jeffersonville, Indiana, says his apprehension stems from a state law approved this year that allows residents to use deadly force in response to the “unlawful intrusion” by a “public servant” to protect themselves and others, or their property.
“If I pull over a car and I walk up to it and the guy shoots me, he’s going to say, ‘Well, he was trying to illegally enter my property,’” said Hubbard, 40, who is president of Jeffersonville Fraternal Order of Police Lodge 100. “Somebody is going get away with killing a cop because of this law.”
Indiana is the first U.S. state to specifically allow force against officers, according to the Association of Prosecuting Attorneys in Washington, which represents and supports prosecutors. The National Rifle Association pushed for the law, saying an unfavorable court decision made the need clear and that it would allow homeowners to defend themselves during a violent, unjustified attack. Police lobbied against it.
The NRA, a membership group that says it’s widely recognized as a “major political force” and as the country’s “foremost defender” of Second Amendment rights, has worked to spread permissive gun laws around the country. Among them is the Stand Your Ground self-defense measure in Florida, which generated nationwide controversy after the Feb. 26 shooting of Trayvon Martin, an unarmed Florida teenager.
Amended Law
Asked about the Indiana law, Andrew Arulanandam, a spokesman for the Fairfax, Virginia-based association, said he would look into the matter. He didn’t return subsequent calls.
The measure was approved by the Republican-controlled Legislature and signed by Republican Governor Mitch Daniels in March. It amended a 2006 so-called Castle Doctrine bill that allows deadly force to stop illegal entry into a home or car.
The law describes the ability to use force to “protect the person or a third person from what the person reasonably believes to be the imminent use of unlawful force.”
Republican state Senator R. Michael Young, the bill’s author, said there haven’t been any cases in which suspects have used the law to justify shooting police.
‘Public Servant’
He said “public servant” was added to clarify the law after a state Supreme Court ruling last year that “there is no right to reasonably resist unlawful entry by police officers.” The case was based on a man charged with assaulting an officer during a domestic-violence call.
Young cited a hypothetical situation of a homeowner returning to see an officer raping his daughter or wife. Under the court’s ruling, the homeowner could not touch the officer and only file a lawsuit later, he said. Young said he devised the idea for the law after the court ruling.
“There are bad legislators,” Young said. “There are bad clergy, bad doctors, bad teachers, and it’s these officers that we’re concerned about that when they act outside their scope and duty that the individual ought to have a right to protect themselves.”
Bill supporters tried to accommodate police by adding specific requirements that might justify force, and by replacing “law enforcement officer” in the original version with “public servant,” said Republican state Representative Jud McMillin, the House sponsor.
Preventing Injury
The measure requires those using force to “reasonably believe” a law-enforcement officer is acting illegally and that it’s needed to prevent “serious bodily injury,” Daniels said in a statement when he signed the law.
“In the real world, there will almost never be a situation in which these extremely narrow conditions are met,” Daniels said. “This law is not an invitation to use violence or force against law enforcement officers.”
Jane Jankowski, a spokeswoman for Daniels, referred questions about the measure to that statement.
Opponents see a potential for mistakes and abuse.
It’s not clear under the law whether an officer acting in good faith could be legally shot for mistakenly kicking down the wrong door to serve a warrant, said state Senator Tim Lanane, the assistant Democratic leader and an attorney.
“It’s a risky proposition that we set up here,” Lanane said.
Intoxicated Suspects
Those who are intoxicated or emotional can’t decide whether police are acting legally, and suspects may assume they have the right to attack officers, said Tim Downs, president of the Indiana State Fraternal Order of Police. The law didn’t need to be changed because there isn’t an epidemic of rogue police in Indiana, he said.
“It’s just a recipe for disaster,” said Downs, chief of the Lake County police in northwest Indiana. “It just puts a bounty on our heads.”
Downs said he canceled his NRA membership after the organization pressed for the Indiana legislation.
The NRA helped get the measure through the Legislature and encouraged its members to contact lawmakers and Daniels.
The organization’s Indiana lobbyist attended all the Legislative committee hearings, said State Representative Linda Lawson, the Democratic floor leader and a former police officer.
Political Support
Lawmakers respond to the NRA because the group brings political support, Lawson said.
The legislation reversed an “activist court decision,” and “restores self-defense laws to what they were,” the NRA said on its legislative website.
In Clay County, Indiana, outside Terre Haute, the Sheriff’s Department changed its procedures because of the law. Detectives in plain clothes and unmarked cars now must be accompanied by a uniformed officer on calls to homes, Sheriff Michael Heaton said.
“I’m not worried about the law-abiding citizens,” said Heaton, who also is president of the Indiana Sheriff’s Association. “It’s the ones that really don’t understand the law and they just think, ‘Cop shows up at my door, I can do whatever I want to him.’”
Hubbard, the officer in Jeffersonville, in southeastern Indiana, said the law causes him to second-guess himself. He serves on the department’s patrol division and is a member of its special weapons and tactics unit. The department serves “thousand” of warrants a year, he said.
“It puts doubt in your mind,” said Hubbard, who served in the U.S. Marine Corps before joining the department. “And hesitation in our job can mean somebody gets hurt or killed.”
Hubbard said he hasn’t changed his approach to his job or noticed a difference in how civilians he encounters are behaving.
The law has changed Hubbard’s view of the NRA.
He said he has been “a proud member of the NRA for years,” and while he’s still a member and NRA firearms instructor, “the day I found out the NRA was pushing behind this bill was the day I became a not-so-happy NRA member.”
To contact the reporter on this story: Mark Niquette in Columbus, Ohio, at mniquette@bloomberg.net
To contact the editor responsible for this story: Stephen Merelman at smerelman@bloomberg.net
Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels
Patrick Fallon/Bloomberg
Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels signed a state law this year that allows residents to use deadly force in response to the “unlawful intrusion” by a “public servant” to protect themselves and others, or their property.
Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels signed a state law this year that allows residents to use deadly force in response to the “unlawful intrusion” by a “public servant” to protect themselves and others, or their property. Photographer: Patrick Fallon/Bloomberg
Source: www.bloomberg.com
Goldsmith divorce battle is being played out on Twitter before lawyers get a look-in - Evening Standard
Source: www.thisislondon.co.uk
Law Pavilion launches blackberry application - Vanguard
By Innocent Anaba
Your law library is now black-buried. That is the caption of the new legal blackberry software application launched by GIT Limited, the publishers of Law Pavilion.
LawPavilion has become known within legal circles as the premium research tool that any serious minded member of the Bar and Bench must acquire to significantly enhance their practice or quality of rulings. Hitherto, the Law Pavilion application has been available for installation on personal devices such as laptops or desktops, office servers and more recently, the Ipad.
The Law Pavilion Black Berry Application was launched in Lagos, during the Nigerian Bar Association, NBA, LawWeek.
Prof Yemi Osinbajo, SAN, former Attorney General and Commissioner for Justice of Lagos State, who also delivered the keynote address at event, commended LawPavilion’s brilliant contribution and innovation towards the advancement of legal practice in Nigeria.
Lawyers at the event were generally thrilled by LawPavilion’s innovation, and especially the affordability of the new BlackBerry version starting from a paltry sum of N10,000 per annum. Mr. Femi Botoku of the NBA Lagos Branch said “now, no Lawyer has any excuse not to be digitally equipped, as this (LawPavilion on BlackBerry) is very affordable.”
With the innovative technology deployed for the BlackBerry Application, LawPavilion has made access to relevant authorities on any issue of law, the latest Supreme Court judgments (within 48 hours of release), latest Court of Appeal decisions, Civil Procedure Rules of State High Courts and oft-used Laws of the Federation very cheap and affordable (from as low as N10,000 per annum) to all lawyers, especially young and upwardly mobile lawyers who are eager to bring their practice to par with contemporary global legal practice.
The LawPavilion blackberry software application means that lawyers can conduct their research on the go without any hindrance or having to contend with heavy luggage occasioned by carrying books around or even other personal devices like the laptop.
Source: www.vanguardngr.com
New South African press law 'more harmful than apartheid-era censorship' - The Guardian
The new protection of state information law is more harmful to South African press freedom than apartheid-era censorship, according to the widow of the legendary anti-apartheid journalist and editor, Donald Woods.
Woods was stripped of his editorship of the Daily Dispatch newspaper and banned from public speaking because of his investigation into the death of black activist Steve Biko in 1977. He fled South Africa after threats to his life and family, settling in London, where he died in 2001. He is best remembered as the author of Biko biography, which became the basis for the film Cry Freedom.
Despite her husband's experiences, Wendy Woods believes the vagueness of the legislation passed by the African National Congress government makes it potentially more restrictive.
"I would say it's more insidious that what my husband had to deal with," Woods told the Guardian. "There were many laws in his time restricting journalists, but they knew what they were. This bill allows any government official to deem any information a state secret. It's worse than the apartheid era because its so unspecific. You don't know what it is you are up against."
"The penalties sound dreadful: 25 years in prison, which is horrendous," she added. "The prospect of 25 years in jail would scare anyone, I would have thought."
Speaking in an interview at home on the outskirts of London, Woods said she was heartened by what she called "a huge groundswell of opposition" to the new law by former colleagues in the anti-apartheid movement. Her husband would also have been "outrageous and vociferous" in resisting it, she said.
" [It will] disempower journalists because they won't have a working knowledge of what they can or cannot say, which is more or less what they had during the apartheid era. Donald said through experience and instinct he grew to know … what he could or couldn't say," Woods recalled.
For example, he would reserve his most outspoken editorials skewering the apartheid system for Friday, in the knowledge that most government ministers had farms they would go to at the weekend. They would have two days to cool down before returning to their offices and deciding on a response. Under Woods editorship no Daily Dispatch journalists were jailed for what they wrote.
The new law, Wendy Woods said, is by comparison "too all-encompassing". She said South African journalists old enough to remember apartheid "will feel it's back to the old days". But she added: "They are ready to fight, because they remember what it felt like."
Source: www.guardian.co.uk
Is Katy looking so miserable because of Russell’s recent divorce gags? - Daily Mirror
We doubt Katy was massively impressed that her ex husband of not even a year made a mockery of their short marriage in front of thousands of people the other night.
While hosting the MTV Movie Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday night , Russell said: "Last time I did an MTV show I ended up marrying someone.
“Tonight I’m going to keep my eyes peeled for my next wife.”
Not very sensitive of him really was it, although it was quite funny (sorry Katy).
And now we have these images of Katy Perry at LAX airport looking very down in the dumps and scarily stern.
The harsh make up doesn’t help of course. She’s wearing some very pale foundation, with dark ruby lips and pencilled in black eyebrows, all finished off with some deep purple hair, which basically makes her look like a goth and they’re not known for being the sunniest of people.
If we were the type to gossip, we would jump to the natural conclusion that Katy was in a black mood because of Russell’s big gob.
But we’re not the type… oh, ok, we love a good gossip, but we also know that Katy is one of life’s odd, slightly hypocritical celebrities who smile their head off and are as charming as… well Russell can be at times, at red carpet events and the like but who have a face like thunder if anyone dares notice them any other time.
This we reckon is what’s going on here. Katy Perry IS NOT FAMOUS WHEN CATCHING A FLIGHT. OK? SO BACK OFF.
Here's another lady celeb who rarely cracks a smile , but almost managed it when sitting next to her husband David for a message to the Queen.
Source: www.mirror.co.uk
Backpage Sues Over Wash. Sex-Trafficking Law - ABC News
Backpage.com, the online classifieds website that has become a target for activists because of its sex ads, is seeking to invalidate a law recently passed in Washington state that would require proof of age for those posting the ads.
The website sued in U.S. District Court in Seattle to block the law from being enforced pending a judge’s decision on whether it should be struck down.
Today, a federal judge issued a temporary restraining order against the enforcement of the new law, saying Backpage “has shown a likelihood of success on the merits of its claim.” The restraining order remains in effect for at least 14 days.
The law is an attempt to reduce child sex trafficking online, a problem Backpage.com acknowledges and says it is working to stop.
The law, which is set to take effect today, would impose a $10,000 fine and up to year in prison if a website does not make a reasonable attempt to ascertain the age of someone placing an ad for commercial sex.
“Although its ostensible motivation — to prevent the sex trafficking of children — is laudable, the law is not,” said Liz McDougall, the attorney for Backpage, which is owned by Village Voice Media.
Backpage’s legal filing argues that the Washington bill contradicts a federal law, the Communications Decency Act, which Congress passed in 1996. The act says that Internet service providers or “interactive computer services,” like Backpage, are merely hosts and not publishers in the traditional sense. That means that the websites cannot be held liable for material posted on them by a third party. Which is why while the act of prostitution may be illegal, Backpage is not responsible for someone posting an ad for it on their site.
Washington’s Attorney General Rob McKenna said some in Congress are exploring how the Communications Decency Act might be changed to protect victims of child sex trafficking.
“A group of bipartisan U.S. senators have taken on this issue in a bold way in the last couple of months,” he told Nightline in April. “So we intend to be working with them to make sure there’s no federal law that acts as a shield behind which Backpage and other internet publishers can hide.”
In the meantime, other states, including New York and New Jersey, are considering legislation similar to the Washington law.
Source: abcnews.go.com
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